陈老师：这是我的文章，可是请你改错了。


前年夏天我在苏州大学学中文。这个项目流行很多，每一个周末差不多区别的都市。我最喜欢的流游的地方是四川。在四川，我们去周家沟，峨眉山，和成都。据说周家沟是一个地球的四个最漂亮的地方。我同意，周家沟的景色特别美丽的。谁特别蓝色的，特别清楚地。山不就是山。峨眉山根周家沟不一样。峨眉山有一个专业：猴子。峨眉山的猴子很勇敢很恶作剧。我看了一只猴子从游客的头上抢了一顶帽子，然后，我别开玩笑，对他大笑。

周家沟也有很有意思的文化。我们去听一个西藏音乐会。那个音乐对唱了传统的和现代的歌。是不一样的文化，好像他们有比较玩或者开心的感觉。

US Embassy Thank-You Letter

http://www.nordicchamber.cz/upload_files/Image/thank-you-letter.jpg

Above is a thank-you letter from the Embassy of the United States of America to the Nordic Chamber of Commerce. Firstly, I notice that the format is not the similar but not quite the same as what we have learned. The address of the US Embassy is not given (though it may be in the signature block, which may have been cutoff). Also, the date stands alone in the center, under the letterhead. There is an address block and salutation, but no subject line. I suppose that is because the tone of this letter is meant to be more personal.


Clarity:
The letter does convey the message. It is written in direct style, which makes this easier.

Concreteness:
Cited the event, the exact sum donated, and the frame. It could have been more concrete by saying how the money would be used (besides just for Hurricane Katrina relief).

Correctness:
No glaring errors.

Cohesion:
The message stays on topic; very focused with a clear purpose. The message is not long enough to need many transitions.

Completeness:
The letter is posted on the Nordic Chamber of Commerce website, so I infer that they got all the information they wanted. Thus, complete.

Conciseness:
This letter is certainly concise, but perhaps too concise. It is perhaps too blunt and not specific enough. Granted, as this may have been during Katrina repair, it is possible that the writer could not spent as much time writing the letter as he would have liked.

Courteous:
I do find it strange that the writer talked about the frame, but not what the donation will be specifically used for. [The standard joke in movies and TV shows when a not-so-sophisticated character is in an art museum is him standing infront of a famous painting and all he can do is comment on how expensive the frame looks. I am not sure how far this frame of reference extends, but I think it is worth noting.] Overall, one might go as far as to say that this letter violates STARS in regards to being Specific. He also does not mention the food or luncheon itself, rather only speaking at it – could this be taken disrespectful?

While this is not the thank-you letter I would have written, I suppose it did the job, as may be inferred as it is posted on the Nordic Chamber of Commerce’s website.

Edited in response to Kalene's feedback.

Voter contact (conflict)

The past semester was conflict after conflict after conflict, often as many as 100 per day. You may be thinking, how could someone get into so many conflicts day after day? Does he go out and knock on doors looking for them?
Pretty much. As a full-time deputy field organizer for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign, part of my job was to knock on doors and have ‘voter contact,’ in which I had discussions with voters regarding the election.
Needless to say, there was a wide spectrum of reactions, tones, and discussions. One person chased me off her deck with broom, others invited me in for drinks. The hardest aspect was realizing that while an issue might be important to me, it was most likely not important to the person I was trying to persuade. The key was finding what was important to the voter, what their immediate concern or misgiving was, and addressing it. I found it wasn’t so much the facts I had memorized that won voters, it was more the presentation. When speaking strongly and confidently, while listening quietly and attentively, hearing them out in full, we got much better reactions. We could have conversations and discussions, even if we disagreed.

The point wasn’t to change someone’s mind right then. It was not to win a debate. I know if I lost a debate, it certainly wouldn’t change my mind about who I would vote for – only make me think about how I could have won the debate/what I should have said. The discussion, the listening, the back-and-forth understanding, allowed for the other person to hear the ideas with a more open mind, and they would probably spend some time considering the idea from a different point of view later.

Effective Communication

When I first think of effective communication, I think of the strong, tall, sharply dressed, confident young business man/woman who everybody notices when he/she walks into a room. The man/woman who can win you with a smile and eye-contact, who gets to the top of the pecking order without any conflict or demonstration of ability. This is the person whom you can never win a public debate with, because the listeners hear the certainty in his/her voice, not the reason and groundings of your argument. His/her ideas always win support, he/she will get the promotions, he/she will get the sales, and the connections. He/she is a leader, for better or worse.
He/she is also no accident. He/she is the product of years of training and experience, of honed communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal.
Effective communication to me is being able to say what you are thinking; to let other people see your thoughts. This is often very complicated, as thoughts and ideas usually come in a quick burst, containing many layers of thoughts, reasons, and justifications, all of which needs to be quickly slowed down, decompressed, prioritized, layed out in a coherent order, and presented in a specific fassion of speaking. Effective communition is no easy task.